The Fathers in my Life

The thought occurred to me that I should post about all the amazing Fathers in my life. Wish I would have thought of it before Father's day, but that's ok!

My Dad - My Dad's name is Guy. I love his name. As a kid we always joked about how Dad was such an "amazing...Guy" or a "Cool Guy", yeah, we weren't too witty in the joke department, at least I wasn't. I passed along his name to my youngest...Evan Guy Leishman. He is a very dear man to me. As a child, he was always there to come talk to, and it seemed to me that he genuinely cared about what I had to say. Although, looking back, I'm sure there were moments when he could care less about my girly troubles, but if he felt that way, he never made me aware of it. 
Some things that I've learned from my Dad

• He taught me to believe in myself and dream big dreams
• To work hard
• To listen to other people
• That you can become whatever kind of person you would like to become despite your challenges, where you come from, or your circumstances
• He taught me that it's ok to be wrong sometimes and to apologize
• He taught me that you should support your family in the things they do
• He taught me to be committed to your wife, your children and anything you pursue
• Be Passionate about your work

I'm sure I can come up with many, many more if I think longer about it. I think we learn SO many things from our parents, some of which, we don't even recognize. 

My Father-in-Law. Brad's Dad is Clare. He is a good man. I have learned many things from him. At the beginning of our marriage I actually didn't know what to say around him, because he didn't talk too much. But I feel very comfortable around him now and have learned SO much. 

                              

Some things I've learned from Clare

• To work hard
• To look for and serve those who don't have anyone else
• Life is short
• An argument is a two person thing
• Enjoy nature and animals
• Speaking softly is how you get people to really listen
• To always respect and care for your wife and children
• To take care of your elders

My Husband - Brad is the best Father. I know I'm biased, but I want him to know that I do think that. No, he's not perfect, as I've unfortunately made him well aware of throughout our marriage! ha ha. But he is truly the light of our household. I can't tell you how much more complete our family feels when he is home and we are all together. Everyone...Laya, Eli, Evan, the dogs, just light up when he arrives. Whatever he is doing, he has 5 shadows. He is my love, my rock, my everything and the same for our children. 

Some things I've learned from Brad as a Father

• To be respectful
• To have fun
• To see the bigger picture
• To be gentle and kind
• To work hard
• To be patient
• To see the funny 
• The look at things from the child's perspective

I'm so grateful for the amazing men in my life and their Fathers. I'm also thankful for my Mother's Father and his Fathers. Fathers are important...they are essential.

This Last Week

Evan has been sick the last few days. He cried hard ALL morning off and on throughout the day yesterday. I took him in today and he has an ear infection. He is doing better today. He is starting an antibiotic to help clear it up. He never lays down and just rests like this, ever!

Eli had a rough day last week, I found him in his bed hyperventilating. He was breathing really loudly and fast, rapid heart beat and blood on his pillow. The instant I saw him I knew something was wrong. He had coughed up blood and had a fever. The nurse came right away and helped me with him. We weren't exactly sure why he coughed up blood. We are waiting to hear back about some blood work he had done to see if he is loosing a little blood anywhere internally. I don't think so, but we are checking. He finally calmed down and did a little better the next few days. He was put on an antibiotic because of all the congestion in his upper lungs and nasal passages. We think an infection may have caused the fever. His lungs are almost clear today and he is doing better. 

Laya is 11 now! She had a blast during her first week up in Utah with my Family. They had a party for her! She loved spending time with each family and she lived in the pool! Her cousins and all our family, truly adore her. So much fun :) 

Brad and I went on a bike ride last Saturday and saw this double rainbow :) It was a beautiful rare overcast, rainy day. We loved it!

Circumstances Vs. Thoughts

Circumstances Vs. Thoughts

Something that I've been studying a little bit about lately is circumstances verses thoughts. One thing that I've struggled with for probably my whole life, is being a big fat complainer! ha ha. No one wants to be around a pity party especially if it's yourself! Anyway, it's something I've prayed to overcome for years. As I've been learning about circumstances verses thoughts over the past year or so, I've begun to be aware of my thought patterns (which lead to complaining) and start to change some of them.

So here's what I understand so far about it.

Circumstances
Circumstances are facts about our lives, or facts about a current situation or moment in time. They are things that we aren't directly in control of. They are things that can be proven in a court of law. They are factual and without opinion or emotion attached. They could be someone else's behavior, a diagnosis or illness, a conversation etc.
Here are some examples of circumstances:

• My name is Marilee
• I was born in Olympia, Washington
• I am married to Brad
• We have three children together
• Two of our three children have GM1 Gangliosidosis
• I live in Tucson, Arizona

Here are some more specific circumstances:

• We are on summer break for 6 weeks
• My husband and I are exchanging words
• Evan is falling down an average of 15 times a day
• Driving to work took 15 minutes longer than usual because of slower traffic
• My toddler is lying on the floor kicking his legs and crying

Circumstances are always Neutral. They are never bad, good, happy, sad, positive or negative. They are always neutral. It's our thoughts about them that make them mean something good or bad.

Thoughts:

Thoughts are anything we are thinking about our circumstances. They are not necessarily true, although they feel true to us in the moment. We may have tons of evidence in our mind for why they are true. Some of the thoughts we have are empowering and make us feel peaceful and happy and other thoughts may be negative and bring about a different result.

The problem:

We sometimes think that our thoughts are facts. We think that our thoughts ARE the circumstance. We have a hard time taking the emotion and feeling out of the circumstance.

Good news:

We can choose to think whatever we want about our circumstances!!

So let's take the specific circumstances above and add some thoughts to them.

• We are on summer break for 6 weeks
• Thoughts: It is so difficult to get anything done when my kids are home all day. They are so bored and I have no time to myself. (I may think that these are facts or circumstances, but they are truly just thoughts and not necessarily true).
• Thoughts: I am so lucky that I get to stay home with my kids during summer break and spend more time with them. They are so much fun to be around. (These thoughts feel much better to me)
• My husband and I are exchanging words
• Thoughts: It is so hard to communicate with each other. We never agree.
• Thoughts: I'm so glad that my husband is talking to me about this. I wonder how I can show him that I truly understand where he is coming from? (I notice myself changing my thoughts right in the moment sometimes to more peaceful ones like these.)
• Evan is falling down on the ground on average 15 times a day (this one seems like it for sure should be a negative circumstance, but it isn't it is just a fact. Circumstances are always neutral)
• Thoughts: It is so sad that Evan falls all of the time. I wish he could walk and thrive like all of the other kids his age.
• Thoughts: Isn't it great that I have a helmet, knee pads and bum pad for him to protect his body when he falls down? We are lucky and blessed to have a good walker and ankle braces for him, so that he can walk as long as he is able to.

See what I mean? This stuff has been so powerful for me to learn about. It's helped me to look at my life and realize that the circumstances in my life are all neutral. They are not good, bad, terrible, happy or whatever. It's what I make them mean, by the thoughts I choose to think about them, that truly makes them good, bad, happy or sad.

The podcast "Better Than Happy" by Jody Moore and the "Lifecoach School Podcast" by Brooke Castillo really dive in to this sort of psychology. They are fantastic!

Here are a few pictures from our life lately! The pics aren't really in order!

We went to a Wiggles Concert to make Evan's wish (to see them live) come true. So much fun!!

It was at UCLA. It was a very quick, but fun trip. Eli did pretty good, but was completely wiped out when we got back!

Laya turned 11!

 She got a makeup kit from a friend. Brad loves it, can't you tell?

Laya also had her promotion from Elementary to Middle school. Maybe I'll post those pics later, they are on my nicer camera. It was an amazing program and very official. Laya is really excited to go to middle school. 

 This puzzle was so much fun to put together with Brad and Laya. It was so nice to do something other than watch TV. We worked on it for days, so I had to post a picture of it. :) 

I performed and sang a set at the Pima County Fair. These are Eli and Evan's sweet bus drivers who came to support me!

Evan Graduated from Kindergarten! This is his teacher, Mrs. Beck. She taught all three of my children. We love her!

This was Evan's best friend in class. They told me that she loved to help him and play with him during class all year. He is sitting in his "throne" that they made for him.  

These amazing ladies cared for Evan day in and day out. They figured out the genius way to attach his cap to his helmet! 

 So handsome!

Eli visited his old class during the last week of school. They were so surprised and happy to see Eli, that many of them were gasping with their jaws dropped in excitement (literally dropped) to see Eli. One girl even cried she was so happy to see him. 

Eli's past Respite provider Nicolle, graduated from school to be a medical assistant. We are so proud of her!

Laya headed to Utah with Cody and Nichole to go visit family for 2 1/2 weeks. She is having a blast!

Brad and I went to Top Golf on our date a little while ago. So much fun! What a cool place. 

(He killed me of course.)